girl, you're nuts

J A S M I N E
awesome 18

surprises-
beautiful suspense,
my greatest love!



Cry - Rihanna


BE-INGS

addy
Becks
emilyn
jon!
tinghui
tracy
renzhi
yingying

105'08







Somehow, this week passed kinda slowly. Usually, the weeks passed so quickly, every incidents were brushed pass. Now, every pain and disappointments are that tangible. even now, yes.

I wonder if i have done anything wrong, to receive such treatments? i mean, if all these are started becasue of my habit of keeping quiet and isolating myself when im not in the right state of mind- i'm sorry. I think it's alright to mix around hte different genders. i thought it is a very natural move that we mixed. But when my action is taken to be a 'like', it becomes so painful for me to watch every move i made. Seriously, i dont know what i've done wrong. tell me?

From day one, the devil in me keeps asking 'why cant people change part of theri character for me?' i'm sure im not the only one feelign so. but i guessed i have the ability to change MY SIDE to compromise. and i know everyone thinks so too. If all of us continue to do so, aint we fulfilling everyone's desire?

no point mentioning about academics. loser.

dance was equally disappointing. i realised every minute is extremely precious here and also that not everyoen receive the same treatment even when teh same mistakes are made. It's a painful truth. i was really tired, drained out and just sleepy. i slacked in my determination. I did not push myself ot remembe the counts and steps. I usually had to, as i know im super slow. counts are killers. remembering them is hell. i covered my mistakes with laughters and jokes, but it seems it all irritates coach even more. i was the first to experienced getting her busted at me. a totally near-point. 'it was just 4 counts. and you could not get them right.' in the past, she ocne said' if you cant get your counts, you arent suited for a dancer.' it was totally 'ouch!' in the heart man. it's not taht i gave attitude durign practises. im really really tired. and i still am not sure how counts are count and anything dacners are expected to know, but i dont. i was in npcc, please. i'm not giving excuses nor drawing sympathys. it's a totally bummer shit for me.

when everyone and everything gets demanding;
as much as i do wanna meet them,
i wanna get away as well.

i'm afraid..