J A S M I N E
awesome 18
surprises-
beautiful suspense,
my greatest love!
Cry - Rihanna
addy
Becks
emilyn
jon!
tinghui
tracy
renzhi
yingying
105'08
|
gee, i cant help but getting negative and cynical by the minute. i seriously need some couselling. HA. look, there's some facts and truth i cant accept and probably i wouldnt be. my life is much isolated from human beings now. so i just tend to think so much. tell me the last time u had a meal with me? a walk with me? a train ride home? hear me rant? blabber shit with me? gossiping? shopping? texting? HA, answer that human beings.
look, i dont miss anything. but you know how criminals feel when the yare sentence for something they didnt commit? I'm like sweeney todd. the only difference- he dares to kill. ha. wells, im afraid of spurting blood though. but i cant get enough of final destination. twisted heads, burned to death, break asses into pieces- ALL incensored simply FABULOUS. love it. it's just one of teh many changes i've noticed. ha.
the so many lies i've heard and came across are enough to fill a book. i can write a book about them. BEST-SELLER i guess. lies are bridges people use to get across. like a bridge itself- you want to cross to the other point- a desired destination. the only difference with lies used- your stepping board crumples. and im it. im fed up. I CANT STAND IT ANY LONGER. i see you people living like you havent sinned a shit. if i get another lie- i swear i'll kick you in the nuts. i'll scream in your face till you hate me forever. for now, it's hard not to be negative. each time i see a face, i wonder- now what? what's in store for me? more shit?
and the weirdest thing that's currently in me is so darn frigthening. i cant stand a sight of happiness. i feel sour, angry. tinge of hatred building up inside me. like i want the world to be how i'm feeling too. it's unfair huh? that's excatly how i feel too.
--
time wasnt a thing you could divide easily; there was no defined middle or begining or end. I could pretend to leave the past behind, but it would not leave me.
there are no such things as absolutes, not in life or in people. it was day by day, if not momeny bt moment. all you could do was take on as much weight as you can bear. if you're lucky, there's someone clsoe enough by to shoulder the rest.
see? 'IF YOU'RE LUCKY' and i so sure i've been unlucky my 16 years of living.
--
i swallowed, hard. ' You were the one who got out of the car in the parking lot that day and walked away.' i told him. ' you'd had it with me.'
'you ditched me at a club and wouldnt even tell me why,' he shot back, his voice raising. ' I was pissed.'
' Exactly,' I said. ' You were pissed. I'd let you down. i was not what you wanted me to be-'
'- and so you just bolted,' he finished.
' disappeared. one arguement, adn you're out of there.'
'what did you want me to do?' i said.
' tell me what was going on, for one,' he said. ' god, tell me something. it's liek what i've said, i could have handled it.'
' like you were handling my not say anything? you were furious with me.'
' so what? I was entitled,' he said. ' peopel get mad. it's no the end of the world.'
' so i was supposed to explain myself, adn let you be mad at me, adn then maybe you might have got over it-'
' i would have got over it.'
'- or not,' i said, glaring at him. ' maybe it would have changed everything.
' That happended anyway!' he said. ' i mean, look at us now. at least if you'd told me what was goign on, we could have dealt with it. As it was, you just left everything hanging, no resolution, nothing. Is that what you wanted? that i be gone for good, rather than just mad for a little while?'
I just stood there as he said this, teh words sinking in. ' i didnt realise that was an option.'
' of course it was,' he said. ' whatever it was, it couldnt have been that bad. all you ahve to do was be honest. tell me what really happened.'
'it's not that easy.'
'is this? ignoring and advoiding each other, acting like we were never friends? maybe for you. it's sucked for me. i dont like playign games.'
' i dont like that either.' i said.
' if it's so big that it's worth all this,' he said, ' all this crap and weirdness that's happened since then, it's too big to keep inside. you know that.'
' and dont tell me that is easy for me, because it's not. these last couple of months have sucked, not knowing what's going on with you. what is it? whats' so bad you cant even tell me?'
--
feel me? i'm not the helpless girl fighting back- instead im the tough guy retorting back. hear me? understand me?
sheesh, the world is helpless- deaf and blind.
|
|
gee, i cant help but getting negative and cynical by the minute. i seriously need some couselling. HA. look, there's some facts and truth i cant accept and probably i wouldnt be. my life is much isolated from human beings now. so i just tend to think so much. tell me the last time u had a meal with me? a walk with me? a train ride home? hear me rant? blabber shit with me? gossiping? shopping? texting? HA, answer that human beings.
look, i dont miss anything. but you know how criminals feel when the yare sentence for something they didnt commit? I'm like sweeney todd. the only difference- he dares to kill. ha. wells, im afraid of spurting blood though. but i cant get enough of final destination. twisted heads, burned to death, break asses into pieces- ALL incensored simply FABULOUS. love it. it's just one of teh many changes i've noticed. ha.
the so many lies i've heard and came across are enough to fill a book. i can write a book about them. BEST-SELLER i guess. lies are bridges people use to get across. like a bridge itself- you want to cross to the other point- a desired destination. the only difference with lies used- your stepping board crumples. and im it. im fed up. I CANT STAND IT ANY LONGER. i see you people living like you havent sinned a shit. if i get another lie- i swear i'll kick you in the nuts. i'll scream in your face till you hate me forever. for now, it's hard not to be negative. each time i see a face, i wonder- now what? what's in store for me? more shit?
and the weirdest thing that's currently in me is so darn frigthening. i cant stand a sight of happiness. i feel sour, angry. tinge of hatred building up inside me. like i want the world to be how i'm feeling too. it's unfair huh? that's excatly how i feel too.
--
time wasnt a thing you could divide easily; there was no defined middle or begining or end. I could pretend to leave the past behind, but it would not leave me.
there are no such things as absolutes, not in life or in people. it was day by day, if not momeny bt moment. all you could do was take on as much weight as you can bear. if you're lucky, there's someone clsoe enough by to shoulder the rest.
see? 'IF YOU'RE LUCKY' and i so sure i've been unlucky my 16 years of living.
--
i swallowed, hard. ' You were the one who got out of the car in the parking lot that day and walked away.' i told him. ' you'd had it with me.'
'you ditched me at a club and wouldnt even tell me why,' he shot back, his voice raising. ' I was pissed.'
' Exactly,' I said. ' You were pissed. I'd let you down. i was not what you wanted me to be-'
'- and so you just bolted,' he finished.
' disappeared. one arguement, adn you're out of there.'
'what did you want me to do?' i said.
' tell me what was going on, for one,' he said. ' god, tell me something. it's liek what i've said, i could have handled it.'
' like you were handling my not say anything? you were furious with me.'
' so what? I was entitled,' he said. ' peopel get mad. it's no the end of the world.'
' so i was supposed to explain myself, adn let you be mad at me, adn then maybe you might have got over it-'
' i would have got over it.'
'- or not,' i said, glaring at him. ' maybe it would have changed everything.
' That happended anyway!' he said. ' i mean, look at us now. at least if you'd told me what was goign on, we could have dealt with it. As it was, you just left everything hanging, no resolution, nothing. Is that what you wanted? that i be gone for good, rather than just mad for a little while?'
I just stood there as he said this, teh words sinking in. ' i didnt realise that was an option.'
' of course it was,' he said. ' whatever it was, it couldnt have been that bad. all you ahve to do was be honest. tell me what really happened.'
'it's not that easy.'
'is this? ignoring and advoiding each other, acting like we were never friends? maybe for you. it's sucked for me. i dont like playign games.'
' i dont like that either.' i said.
' if it's so big that it's worth all this,' he said, ' all this crap and weirdness that's happened since then, it's too big to keep inside. you know that.'
' and dont tell me that is easy for me, because it's not. these last couple of months have sucked, not knowing what's going on with you. what is it? whats' so bad you cant even tell me?'
--
feel me? i'm not the helpless girl fighting back- instead im the tough guy retorting back. hear me? understand me?
sheesh, the world is helpless- deaf and blind.
|
|
MY AUDIENCES
|
affiliates.
Credits
Layout: Mary
Colours: refuted
Host: blogger
|
profile.
profile
Adopted Trees.
|
